With the 15th season of Survivor in full swing now, I feel it completely necessary to take a look back at some of the foxy shebas to grace the sandy shores of Survivor islands over the years.
I considered ranking my personal favorite ladies for about a half a minute before I remembered that I hate rankings, then I considered narrowing them down to a reasonable number before I remembered that I’m posting pictures of each broad. So here’s over two dozen hot Survivor chicks…
SEXY UPDATE: If you’re looking to drool over girls from seasons 16 through 22, check out Part II. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I really stepped up my game for it.
Colleen Haskell (Season 1: Borneo)
Didn’t really do it for me, but I feel obliged to put her on here. In the rookie season, somehow she was the most attractive and drew a lot of media attention, paving the way for future Survivor hotties. Loses points for co-starring in a Rob Schneider movie.
Elisabeth Filarski (Season 2: The Australian Outback)
Painfully adorable. Now Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View, the years have seen her grow hotter and dumber.
Amber Brkich (Season 2: The Australian Outback, Season 8: All-Stars)
When you’re finished drooling, I’ll tell you that she won the million the second time around.
…She’s a millionaire.
Sarah Jones (Season 4: Marquesas)
Bonus points for doing Playboy.
Erin Collins (Season 5: Thailand)
Her body says she’s going places. Her tribe said otherwise.
Heidi Strobel (Season 6: The Amazon)
I like a girl who cleans up nice.
She’s the middle one. That other girl to her left is Jenna Morasca. They became bestest naked friends 4ever that season…
Jenna Morasca (Season 6: The Amazon, Season 8: All-Stars)
Nicole Delma (Season 7: Pearl Islands)
Her beauty was overshadowed by Rupert Boneham and Jonny Fairplay’s pure awesomeness.
Ami Cusack (Season 9: Vanuatu)
Mostly memorable for being a lesbian. And in Playboy. A lesbian in Playboy.
Eliza Orlins (Season 9: Vanuatu)
Fourth place in the season. First place in my heart.
Julie Berry (Season 9: Vanuatu)
Fifth place in the season. First place in Jeff Probst’s heart.
Dolly Neely (Season 9: Vanuatu)
The blonde Mary Anne Summers.
Leann Slaby (Season 9: Vanuatu)
She meant business.
Kimberly Mullen (Season 10: Palau)
Survived the Miss Ohio USA 2002 pageant. Did not survive Survivor 2005.
Jennifer Lyon (Season 10: Palau)
Currently battling breast cancer, Jennifer was pretty damn irresistible in Palau.
Stephenie LaGrossa (Season 10: Palau, Season 11: Guatemala)
South Jersey and Philly’s offering to the Survivor gods. Fitting that with two opportunities, she came up just short of the million both times.
Brooke Struck (Season 11: Guatemala)
Fourth castaway voted out, but come on, look at that face.
Brianna Varela (Season 11: Guatemala)
Third castaway voted out, but come on, look at that face.
Morgan McDevitt (Season 11: Guatemala)
Second castaway voted out, but come on, she’s a magician’s assistant.
Danni Boatwright (Season 11: Guatemala)
Smokin’ hot. Miss Kansas USA 1996. Sports radio talk show host. Million-dollar Sole Survivor. Boner.
Misty Giles (Season 12: Panama)
Kind of annoying and thought she was a much better player than she was for being voted out third, but cute enough and an electrical engineer.
Danielle DiLorenzo (Season 12: Panama)
If you happen to be in the mood for endless sentences of extreme punctuation and motivation, take a trip over to Danielle’s MySpace page. I’ll whet your appetite…
… … .. !!
Parvati Shallow (Season 13: Cook Islands)
A boxer and a cocktail waitress rolled into one!
Michelle Yi (Season 14: Fiji)
Too cute to handle at times.
Courtney Yates (Season 15: China)
Quickly withering away before our eyes each week, but when she had some body mass to her, she had it goin’ on.
It’s not all about T&A in this blogspot. As a man of science, I feel compelled to share with you some data I’ve uncovered in my research. It really reeks of science, so you might want to pinch your nose a little bit.
Here we see how a number of sexy castaways have decided to utilize their beauty both before and after their time on Survivor. Except Jenna Lewis. She’s kinda gross. Nevertheless, pretty impressive numbers that the ladies are putting up.
And how do the seasons stack up against each other?
Clearly, the show peaked in its ninth through eleventh seasons, with Season 9: Vanuatu reaching astronomical heights of dirty, unshaven, awful-smelling, bug-bitten, reality sexiness. The series has all but flat-lined in recent years, and it’s obvious that the end is near for this pioneer of reality game shows. When that times comes, feel free to buy me the Season 9 DVD.